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Guess how much I love you? How much can I love you?  I love too much.  At times I love more than enough.  It’s the kind of love that tends to forget that there ‘s such a word as “myself”. I’ve done this too many times in my life, and I just can’t seem to change it.  The people in my life, my mother, my true love, my kids….I love them too much. I love them like I just can’t live a day without them.  I yearn for them to love me, to need me just as much as I need them.  But I guess this is one thing that seldom happens. It’s either you love them too much, or they love you too much.  Ever heard of the saying “you can’t have your cake and eat it too” But witnessing their happiness and contentment in life is like food for my heart.  And my body responds in synchrony with my heart. When things go wrong, my heart can’t have the food it needs. You can just imagine how skinny I could become if my heart was undernourished.  I know I need to separate these two. I try.  I will try. I don’t want to be weak. I know one day, each of the kids will have their own lives, and I know if this happened today, it would kill me. At this point in my life, I cannot take losing any one of them.  But when it does have to happen… will I survive the loneliness? I pray for strength, that I will always be strong enough to bear the pains that come and go.  I pray for wisdom to know the right things to do every single day of our lives.  I pray for guidance that He will always lead the way for me to keep this happiness and contentment that He has given me in this life.  May God grant my prayers…

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